Torn to Pieces
by Sapphrine
Summary: I am captured in the moment of my lover...of my betrayer...and my love cannot stop...Dark HD one-shot!


Just a one-shot I thought of when I was writing a letter to Silvestra… 

**_Contains: _**_Parts of Draco/Harry, no slash, though…angst…a small bit of violence…a bit of cursing…and some parts of very VERY dry humor…basically, a dark story._

_I rated this PG 13, because even though it probably would have worked for PG, it contains angst that I don't think would suit "children"…(Even though I highly doubt that "children" would read this kind of stuff…)_

_Lyrics by…ummm…I have no idea…I found this on the net, but I couldn't find the artist!!****_

**_Not beta-ed!!_**_ I mean…I read over half of it…but…that's all…*grins*…if anyone wants to beta this for me…I wouldn't mind!! LOL…_

_*Enjoy!!*_

_~*~_

**__**

Torn To Pieces__

**__**

My soul lifted, I was sailing high,  
Wonderful and floating…

_**_

"Harry Potter," he whispered, sending pain and hate coursing through my body. "We meet yet again…but this time, I am sure, will be the final time."

I could only glare, as I felt beads of sweat from exhaustion and fear roll down my forehead…as I felt an aching soreness on my wrists…my legs…all of which had been bound by magical ropes to the pole.

"You have convinced the dementors to return to Azkaban…you have made that good-for-nothing Cornelius Fudge create another Order…with their only mission being to search for _me_…and you have put all my followers to prison…"

"Well…not _all_ my followers…" Voldemort gave an evil grin, and indicated to a young man, standing feet away in the shadows, silently watching us. "It's thanks to him that you are here…"

The young wizard started toward us, coming out of the darkness, his footsteps echoing through the abandoned church.

"Mr. Malfoy…" Voldemort whispered.

"Master…"

"NO!" I couldn't believe it…it wasn't true…couldn't be! Him…no…not possible…

Draco slowly revolved his head from Voldemort, so that he was facing me.

"Potter…" he said coolly, with no emotion in his voice…his eyes… "What a…_pleasant_…surprise…"

"You…" I was speechless. What was I to say, after all those moments together…all those times that I actually felt blissful and carefree…all those times when I loved, and thought that I was loved back…

No…I _knew_ he loved me…I always saw it in his eyes when he leaned in for a kiss…those beautiful, light gray eyes…they were always so clear and warm when I was with him…

But now…now his eyes were once again frosted…dark…cold…it wasn't the Draco I knew…it was the Malfoy…

"Yes, me," he replied casually, giving a faint smile…a smile almost as cold as death. "And it looks like you're here too."

"Dra-"

He silenced me with one finger, his index, placed upon my lips. Leaning in, he looked at me straight in the eye and whispered, "Now now Potter…you don't want to go around…ruining my reputation…"

I glared at him, and struggled with my bonds, although they would not give way. This was definitely Malfoy, a lying, cheating scum. All he did, however, despite the way I was looking at him, was lean closer, finger still on my lips, wearing that ghost of a smile. Regardless of my sudden hate, I couldn't help but shiver.

"Really Potter…you don't want to make yourself uncomfortable…especially since you're going to die so soon…"

"Quite true," Voldemort said suddenly. My head snapped back from the sudden twinge my scar gave off.

"And it would be fun, would it not, to see Mr. Potter here to be disposed of…?"

"Of course, Master…"

"Would it not be even more amusing to…_dispose_…of him yourself?"

"Yes…of course…my Lord…" Draco sounded…offbeat, I suppose. He sounded uncomfortable…

But Voldemort seemed to take no notice of this, as he continued.

"Then, Draco, would you do me a favor?"

"Of course, my Lord…anything you wish…"

"Kill Potter for me."

Time seemed to have stopped. Nothing moved…everything was stock-still. I _couldn't_ move…how could I? Voldemort had just asked Draco to kill me…the one I loved…the one I still loved…although I desperately wanted to stop.

Voldemort was still standing…that horrible, horrible grin on his face, watching Draco carefully. And Draco…

Draco was silent. He stood unmoving, still looking at Voldemort. He looked like he didn't know what to say. Wordless…I guess…

"Why," he finally said, as if choosing his words carefully. "Would you want _me_ to kill him? Wouldn't you…haven't you…wanted to…?"

Voldemort gave a dry laugh.

"Yes, I've wanted to…for sixteen years," he answered. "But now…I've realized that it would be so much fun to watch…watch someone _else_ utter the _Avada Kadevra_ curse…watch Potter here die…instead of just seeing green…it would be very entertaining…"

"Yes Master…" Draco mumbled. My heart seemed to have frozen. Did Draco…did he just say that he _would _kill me…?

However, he didn't.

"But Master…" he replied. "What if…what if I make a…mistake…I mean…I haven't had much practice with the Killing Curse…and…and I have heard that if you haven't had much experience…it wouldn't work…"

All Voldemort did was smile.

"My dear Mr. Malfoy," he said calmly. "You are correct. It wouldn't work for an inexperienced individual. However, you are a special case."

"I'm…a…what?" Draco asked.

"You are a special case," Voldemort repeated. "It is so plainly seen that you will one day become a powerful wizard…a dark wizard, one would say. So…with this in your future, how can we not assume that an _Avada Kadevra_ curse would not work as efficiently for you, as for me?"

"I see…" Draco said slowly, as if not 'seeing'.

"So kill him!" Voldemort's voice was suddenly sharp…harsh…

"Yes…Master…" Draco mumbled, and he walked towards me at a snail's pace. Standing in front of me, he gradually raised the wand.

I looked at him, while he stared determinately back. There was something about his eyes…Draco had always been able to cover his feelings from his eyes…but this time…they seemed different. They were not the cool, calm eyes that I have seen so many times before…they were…or rather, they _seemed_…almost fearful. Like he was afraid of what was going to happen.

That didn't make sense. Draco Malfoy _never got scared…or at least, not any more…not after his mother had died…_

"Draco!" Voldemort's voice rang out, though I vaguely noticed the pain in my scar. Draco's mood was making me curious…

"Yes…Master?" I noted how Draco's voice was not as strong as before.

"What are you waiting for? You should know that my patience is limited…"

"Yes Master…I apologize…"

"Apologies are nothing. Hurry up, and perhaps your punishment will lower."

"Yes Master…"

He raised the wand. I observed the way his hand was quivering.

"A…Avada…Avada Kedevra!" 

A curse flew out. I saw it's green light shoot out, as if in slow motion. It came steadily closer…closer…

Until it whizzed right passed me!

It hit a bench behind me, and I heard it explode with a loud, _BOOM!_

"I-" Draco started, but Voldemort interrupted him.

"Get out of the way!" He snarled, walking up, and pushing Draco aside. He came up to me…so close, that I was sure I would die of a head explosion, rather than a Killing Curse.

Voldemort pointed his wand at me…at my scar, and gave a malevolence smirk.

"Say goodbye to your life, Potter," he spat. "Because you'll never have it again."

"Avada-" 

_"NO!"_

Voldemort was suddenly pushed away by someone…one with hair as light as sunshine…

Voldemort only stumbled, but it still slightly amused me. Who would have thought that they would see the Dark Lord stagger?

Draco was standing in front of me, where Voldemort had been just seconds ago. His wand to pointed at Voldemort, and he was breathing rather heavily.

"No," he repeated.

"You…idiot boy…" Voldemort hissed. "Trying to fill _me up with empty promises…this…you will pay for…"_

"I don't care," Draco retorted. Then, he turned to me urgently, and began, "Look Harry…I never-"

"Crucio!" 

I watched helplessly as Draco fell to the ground, screaming and withering with pain. Voldemort was standing feet away, a mad glint in his eyes, his wand raised up in the air. He showed no mercy as Draco continued his powerless struggle, blood started to spurt from the corner of his mouth.

"STOP!" I screamed to Voldemort, but all he did was widen his ugly smirk.

"Does it not please you…Mr. Potter…to see your boyfriend in so much…_agony_…? Shame, I thought we were more similar than that…" And he turned back to Draco, summoning more force to the curse.

I couldn't watch anymore…didn't want to hear it. It was unbearable…the pain…and it wasn't the physical pain in my scar or on my wrists…or anything like that. It was the emotional pain in my heart…it was breaking, seeing Draco hurting so much…because of me.

 All of a sudden, I saw my wand. It was close to me…Voldemort must have knocked it over when he stumbled…I was suddenly swept with memories from the summer of my Fifth Year…how I was able to light my wand up without actually _touching it…_

_"Diffindo!" I muttered, hoping that Voldemort wouldn't hear. But he seemed too absorbed in watching Draco suffer…_

The ropes suddenly broke apart, and I was free…standing there…watching Voldemort torture Draco…and enjoying every moment of it…

Hatred rose up in my heart…a hatred even worse than the one I felt for Bellatrix Lestrange after she mocked Sirius…a hatred greater than the one I had ever felt for Voldemort…

What was I to do? Draco was slowly weakening…he would go mad soon…

And so…scooping up my wand…I put out the first spell that came to my mind.

"Expelliarmus!" 

Voldemort's wand flew out of his hand, and raced off into the darkness. Draco stopped withering, and Voldemort whipped around, shocked.

"Potter…" he breathed. "How the…"

Just then, he seemed to notice that his wand was gone. Cursing, he stumbled out into the gloom, searching.

I ran to Draco.

He was laying on his side, paler than ever, and looking delicately fragile. Blood formed a small stream down his cheek, and his eyes were half-closed.

For a moment, I was afraid that I had lost him.

Because I did not hate him anymore…I never had…

But the brightest joy came when his eyes widened more…and his lips formed the two syllables: "Harry…"

My heart must have crept to my throat, because I could hardly talk. But still…I answered, "Yes…Draco…I'm…right here…"

"I…what I wanted to…to tell you…was…" His voice was barely a whisper. Draco had always been feeble…and an Unforgivable Curse would only weaken that shield he had.

"Yes…?" I also whispered. My throat seemed too dry for anything else.

"I wanted…to say…that I never…_never…wanted to hurt you…" he said. "Never…"_

"I…I know…" Yes…my throat had _definitely glued itself shut._

"And…and Harry…" Draco was wasting his breath.

"Shhh…" I said softly. "You're using up too much energy…"

"No…I don't have…a lot of time…"

"What? What…do you mean…?" I asked fearfully.

"He'll be back…"

"I'll take care of it…"

"No…" Draco was getting weaker.

"I-"

"Harry! Listen…I wanted…to tell you…that…"

"Yes…?"

"That…I…I love you…Harry…and I…always have…"

I could feel wetness coming to my eyes…Draco just told me that he loved me…

"I…I love you too…Draco…" I whispered. 

Draco sighed, and a smile formed upon his lips. He lifted his head, as I lowered mine, and we shared a soft, tender kiss.

"Now…" he winced as he laid back down. "Now…leave…"

"What?" I asked, dumbstruck.

"Go on…" he answered. "_Leave! Before…before Voldemort comes back…"_

"But I can't just leave-"

He interrupted me.

"No, Harry," he said. "Just…"

He stopped suddenly, and his eyes filled up with fear. I didn't even have to ask to know what was happening…

Voldemort was back…

"How…sweet…" Voldemort sneered. "Well…at least you both can die in the arms of each other…"

"Avada Kad-" 

But I was saved once again. Summoning up all his strength, Draco pushed me to the side, out of the way. But Draco himself had no time…no energy…to move himself to safety.

All I glimpsed was a flash of green light shoot past me…and go right where Draco was…

And the next thing I saw…was the crumbled figure of a small blonde…motionless…lifeless…

_"NO!" I cried, flinging myself at him…but Voldemort blocked my way._

"Oh, don't worry, Potter…" he said maliciously. "You'll be joining him quite soon…"

He raised his wand again…

And I was mad as Hell.

"You…fucking…faggot!" I screamed, and raised my own wand.

Before Voldemort could respond with anything, my wand went out of control. I swear to you, I had nothing to do with it. The wand pointed itself at Voldemort, sizzled, and then, a brightly colored curse flew out. Squinting, I saw that it actually consisted the colors of the rainbow.

Voldemort reacted quickly. He instantly summoned up his own powerful shield, and sneered at me from behind.

But the curse when right through.

The last thing I saw on Voldemort's face was of surprise…and perhaps the beginning of fear…

After, an explosion occurred, knocking me off my feet. When I sat back up, I saw yet another crumbled figure in front of me, unmoving. 

I slowly got up, and cautiously walked toward it. Was he…could he actually be…_dead_…?

He made no movement…no sound…but I was still in disbelief. What _was_ that curse? How could anything be…so powerful…?

_"Muertalis," I muttered, pointing my wand at him. I wanted to check if he actually __was dead._

Nothing happened.

Which meant he actually _was._

I really would have stayed in shock, if I had not suddenly remembered the reason that Voldemort was dead…that I was alive…

Draco… 

I spun around and ran back to Draco. Perhaps he had just fainted…that was it…he had fainted from the pain…the Killing Curse had actually missed him…it never hit him…

"Draco…" I pleaded, falling next to him. "Wake up…Draco…come on…"

But he stayed still. He was…ever so pale…with his beautiful, soft hair laying neatly across his forehead…for once, un-gelled…his eyes were closed…soft, golden lashes down his cheeks…it was as if he was prepared for Death…and his lips…curved almost into a smile…it was too beautiful to look at…he was so graceful…no matter what…even in Dea-

Wait…but he wasn't dead! He couldn't be…he was still alive…he _had _to be!

I pressed my ear against his chest…felt his wrist for a pulse…

But I got nothing…

It wasn't possible…Draco couldn't be…_gone…he just couldn't. We had so many more things to do…so many adventures in life to explore…he couldn't miss out on all of that…he couldn't…_

We had our whole life to live…

I reached for his hand…and realized that it was still warm…although the heat was slipping away quickly…

It was almost cold when Dumbledore rushed in…__

_**_

But after the storm,   
My wings were torn, torn to pieces…

_**_

I learned the whole story the next day. 

I was too exhausted…too much in disbelief…shock…to take anymore that night…

All I wanted to do was to fall asleep, and to wake up, realizing that nothing had really happened…to find Draco in bed next to me…playing with my hair…softly kissing my neck…and telling me how much he loved me…

But I woke up alone.

Dumbledore called me to his office the next day…solemn…grave…but I took no notice of that. 

All I knew was that Draco wasn't by my side.

As it turns out, Draco never really "betrayed" me…or anyone in the Order. He was a spy for our side…like Snape was. He had gone around, collecting information.

And how did he do that without Voldemort knowing?

Draco was skilled in Occlumency.

He had found out that Voldemort was angry…really angry that I had put all his followers to prison except for "one". He wanted to capture me…to abduct me and teach me a lesson.

So he ordered Draco to do it for him.

After Draco learned this, he immediately contacted the Order, and gave them the vital information. They told him to go ahead and take me to him…and that they would confront Voldemort and us there.

Problem was, Draco forgot to tell them _where we were going to be._

Draco had gone, and suggested to me that we sneak into Hogsmeade for the day. Laughing, I had agreed. At our first step out of the school grounds, Voldemort appeared, grabbed me, and left. Draco had also apparated to the church.

Meanwhile, the Order was frantically trying to locate our position. Would we be at the Riddle house? They searched there, but we were nowhere to be found.

Or perhaps the grave of Thomas Riddle, Voldemort's father…where I was held last time? No…we weren't there either.

Or Voldemort's mother's grave…or _her own house…_

But we weren't in any of those places.

Finally, Dumbledore remembered something…when Voldemort was still young…he would go to a church…not to pray, as he did not believe in Heaven or anything like that…but just to sit…and reminisce his life…to be able to live in silence…if only for a few hours…

But which church was it? Dumbledore could not remember…so they could only go to different places…to search…memory charms would have to be placed upon any startled muggles, of course…but they had to find us…before it was too late…

They all apparated to different places…bursting into cathedrals, and then backing out…it seemed that we were nowhere to be found…

Finally, Dumbledore suggested an old church…abandoned years ago…no one went there anymore…as it was said to be haunted…deadened…a perfect place for the Dark Lord…

Dumbledore went first…he hurried toward the main chapel…burst in…and found three individuals…only one of them…alive…

And now…guilt remains inside of me…as I once again, regret not practicing Occlumency. I know…that I would have learned everything if I was skilled. Guilt had washed inside of me once, after Sirius had died…but I was too weary to strengthen that guilt…it had slipped away, and I had not caught it.

If I had…I would have gotten Dumbledore to teach me…or even Snape, if it was necessary. 

But I had not.

And now…because of that…the only people I cared most about were gone…the only ones I have ever truly loved…

Ron and Hermione will always stand by my side…as will all of the Order…but Sirius is gone…

And now, Draco…

Is there anymore hope for me in this world? Is my destiny only to defeat Voldemort? Do I have a future here…now that my mission is complete?

Only time will tell…

And my blood runs cold, as I realize that if Dumbledore had come five minutes sooner…I would have not lost Draco…__

_**_

As well as I and my inmost forwardness,  
Was torn to pieces,  
Ripped to shreds,  
Because the cloth were made of paper…

_**_

His funeral was rather short.

Draco's, I mean…I highly doubt anyone would mourn for Voldemort…

It was held at the school grounds…where Draco had once said he would like stay forever…it was so peaceful…he had told me…

Many people made speeches…a lot of them tried to sound sorry and grief-stricken…

But I knew better…

Almost everyone was glad that Draco Malfoy was finally gone…no one had trusted him…even when he had joined the Light…to risk his own life in spying for us…Ron especially was suspicious of him…

They had even brought Lucius Malfoy out of Azkaban for his son's interment. The prison had certainly changed him…his hair, which had once been long and sleek, was now short and ragged. His face, like many others, was hollow, and his eyes seemed dead…

But he still remembered…

Getting up to do a speech, he started toward the stand, stumbling as he went, and no one helped him. Looking out into the crowd, he began to speak, his voice raspy and low.

"My son…" he croaked, sounding like a drunk. "Was nothing but a shitty boy who betrayed his family. Good riddance that he's gone…"

I felt my blood boil, but I willed myself to stay calm. After all…no one really knew of my relationship with Draco, though I think Dumbledore suspected it. He kept quiet, however…

I felt someone nudge me, and I looked up into Ron's face.

"It's your turn…Harry," he said. "If you don't want to…you don't-"

"No…it's okay…Ron," I tell him, and stand up.

I walked out into the front, and stand, watching the people. My mind suddenly triggered memories, and I saw the large, tall trees at the lake…where Draco and I had shared our first kiss…we had been arguing, and he had suddenly leaned in and kissed me…

Or the Quidditch Field, on my left…where Draco and I had sneaked in the middle of the night…and chased each other on our brooms…

And on my right…the entrance to Hogwarts…where Draco and I had so many of our rivalry fights…

What about the castle…behind me? I could remember that Christmas when all of the Slytherins went home except for Draco…and he invited me in…and we made love…my first time…

All these memories brought a lump to my throat. And at that moment, I wanted Draco so much…it was intolerable…I didn't want to…_couldn't…live the rest of my life without Draco…it seemed…_was_…impossible…there was absolutely no one for me but him…_

"Harry?" It was Hermione…she had crept up to me without my noticing. "Are you okay?" She seemed worried…and curious at the same time…

"Yes…Hermione…" I managed a smile. "I'm fine…"

She nodded, although her eyes were still anxious, and crept back to her seat. I face the crowd once more.

But now, I was lost for words. What _was I to say, after all? Could I stand here and tell everyone that Draco was my world…that I feel, right now, that I would surely die of the pain and agony in my heart…? That I believe that there is no more point in living now…that Draco was gone? The only one who made me feel happy…and lighthearted…?_

No…not now, at least…I couldn't tell anyone…not yet…I needed to be alone with this pain…I didn't want anyone cooing over me…telling me how they knew how I felt…

Because they didn't…

No one would ever know how I feel…I believed…strongly believed that one day, Voldemort would be defeated…and Draco and I could live our lives in peace…and love…that nothing could ever tear us apart…

But thinking about it now…Draco was _not gone from me…he will always be here…because I will never forget him…never…_

And as long as his memory stays…so will he…

I will never forget…Draco Malfoy…

Looking up again, I found everyone staring at me expectantly. But I felt as if I could not talk…the lump was still there…

I opened my mouth, and was able to force a few words out…

"Draco Malfoy…" I said, "Saved my life…and I will be eternally grateful to him…"

I stepped down, and headed back toward my seat.

More people spoke…McGonagall…telling us how bright Draco always was in class…Snape, letting us know that Draco was a wonderful prefect, who always followed the rules…I almost laughed at that one…

And then Dumbledore came up.

"Mr. Malfoy," he began calmly, "Was a loyal young man. He kept quiet, though…cold…until one person was able to warm him up…and he was finally loved…"

I looked up at these words, and was surprised to see my vision was blurry from tears. I could not see Dumbledore's face…but I had a strong feeling that he had glanced at me when he spoke. Everyone else, however, remained confused.

"What the hell is he talking about?" Ron muttered from next to me. "Maybe he _is_ going off his rocker?" 

"Ron!" Hermione said sharply.

"What?" I could almost hear Ron grin. "I was just joking…"

The funeral ended, and everyone went for refreshments, laughing all the way. They all seemed to have forgotten why we were here…

For Draco Malfoy…

Of course…this was expected…no one really cared about him…

No one in this world cared that Draco Malfoy was gone forever…except for one…

And this individual's heart was already…torn to pieces…__

_**_

And I was no more.....

_**_

_~*~_

This is for all of you who has ever lost a loved one… Be strong… 


End file.
